The Love Dare. Fireproof. Doesn't not mean the fire won't come, but when it does, we will be ready. I pray that one day when I'm married, my marriage will be fireproof as God creates me to be the woman he has designed me to be.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Waiting, Paitiently.
I will worship Him while I am waiting.
The Love Dare. Fireproof. Doesn't not mean the fire won't come, but when it does, we will be ready. I pray that one day when I'm married, my marriage will be fireproof as God creates me to be the woman he has designed me to be.
The Love Dare. Fireproof. Doesn't not mean the fire won't come, but when it does, we will be ready. I pray that one day when I'm married, my marriage will be fireproof as God creates me to be the woman he has designed me to be.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Manifestation of RIDICULOUS thoughts.
I wish I could tell you.
But then I don't want to tell you at all for fear of rejection.
And I also don't want to tell you because that is just how it is...
I don't think I should because the young man should be pursuing me, not the other way around.
I feel that I am wrong for having these feelings.
I was reassured by my father that they are not wrong and quite bound to happen.
These feelings use to make me angry.
They have come and gone over the past year and a half.
More recently have they been constant and not. going. away.
I wished them away, but that didn't occur.
I have suppressed them and have done a good job with living with them with God's help.
If you are reading this, and think this is you... it may be... but no one ever really reads this blog unless I post it in facebook, which I wont'. And if this is you, say nothing of this. Especially if it is not reciprocated. I love the friendship and hope for nothing to ruin it.
I have dreams and thoughts and feelings.
I know these feelings are from God, but the hope that I have from these feelings I don't know if they are from God.
With this young man that I respect, I have prayed that we just be good friends and nothing more unless God has other plans. I don't know if a romantic relationship is part of God's plans with this friendship. I am sure now though that it is something I hope for; however, I ultimately hope in Christ. He has great plans for my life whatever that may be and I pray that I follow him.
I've learned that telling people who you admire is a really bad thing. I did very good this past summer with telling no one. And they sunk in my heart somewhere. Enough that I was distracted with another boy to even date him. I never date. That was ridiculous. But all I wanted was a friend. And when I FINALLY listened to friends...about [ironically] listening to myself and what I have said another old blog post [called Pieces of a Real Heart, about the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real]. I got out of being too close to someone I should have NEVER been so close to, and when back to how it was in the summer with friends, but no one really close, or at least to do something with at random. Then God brought me my friend Shelby. It was brilliant timing. God brought her the day after my parents had left for a month and she lives in my neighborhood and we had a blast hanging out. I see how God brought me into her life and to bible study. She has made so many friends. I am so thankful to God for her and everything. I am thankful of how he drew me back to him. Also how he drew out these feelings again for this young man. These feelings, if not for a romantic relationship one day, have helped me so much. It has brought a good friendship and God has used it to remind me of my true hopes and desires of man I hope to one day marry. And I know if I keep my eyes set on Christ, he will bring a most amazing man and that our marriage will be full of joy and love with Christ at the center.
I know that I am waiting; I am not waiting for this young man, or for any man for that matter. I am waiting on God. I am waiting for his direction for everything. Whatever I do with relationships: romantic ones and beautiful friendships, what I do in school and work and how I am involved at church. Church is going through some leadership changes, but I know that God is in control. Missions, I am not sure what God has planned. I know that school is my mission field. I know also that I love to serve him while I am waiting. I love to serve others wherever God will put me.
About this young man, he is such a good friend. I am so thankful for him.
When I think about the kind of man I want to marry. One would be that he would be a great friend. And this young man is a close friend. Closer than any other of my guy friends. Recently, I have tried to make him less close. I have tried to stop telling him things and ironically he has noticed. I am not good at hiding things, but I am able to not tell him when he asked. It makes me laugh how he was still trying to figure out what was on my mind. A big part of what was on my mind was him.
I wouldn't tell him that, no sir. And I really should be done talking to him about guys in general. Or having him talk to me about his likes and interests and whatever is going on. I do care, and as a friend, I am there for advice or feedback or whatnot. But perhaps it is not the best case.
Well I am going to go enjoy sunshine now. I am sick of wrapping presents.
But then I don't want to tell you at all for fear of rejection.
And I also don't want to tell you because that is just how it is...
I don't think I should because the young man should be pursuing me, not the other way around.
I feel that I am wrong for having these feelings.
I was reassured by my father that they are not wrong and quite bound to happen.
These feelings use to make me angry.
They have come and gone over the past year and a half.
More recently have they been constant and not. going. away.
I wished them away, but that didn't occur.
I have suppressed them and have done a good job with living with them with God's help.
If you are reading this, and think this is you... it may be... but no one ever really reads this blog unless I post it in facebook, which I wont'. And if this is you, say nothing of this. Especially if it is not reciprocated. I love the friendship and hope for nothing to ruin it.
I have dreams and thoughts and feelings.
I know these feelings are from God, but the hope that I have from these feelings I don't know if they are from God.
With this young man that I respect, I have prayed that we just be good friends and nothing more unless God has other plans. I don't know if a romantic relationship is part of God's plans with this friendship. I am sure now though that it is something I hope for; however, I ultimately hope in Christ. He has great plans for my life whatever that may be and I pray that I follow him.
I've learned that telling people who you admire is a really bad thing. I did very good this past summer with telling no one. And they sunk in my heart somewhere. Enough that I was distracted with another boy to even date him. I never date. That was ridiculous. But all I wanted was a friend. And when I FINALLY listened to friends...about [ironically] listening to myself and what I have said another old blog post [called Pieces of a Real Heart, about the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real]. I got out of being too close to someone I should have NEVER been so close to, and when back to how it was in the summer with friends, but no one really close, or at least to do something with at random. Then God brought me my friend Shelby. It was brilliant timing. God brought her the day after my parents had left for a month and she lives in my neighborhood and we had a blast hanging out. I see how God brought me into her life and to bible study. She has made so many friends. I am so thankful to God for her and everything. I am thankful of how he drew me back to him. Also how he drew out these feelings again for this young man. These feelings, if not for a romantic relationship one day, have helped me so much. It has brought a good friendship and God has used it to remind me of my true hopes and desires of man I hope to one day marry. And I know if I keep my eyes set on Christ, he will bring a most amazing man and that our marriage will be full of joy and love with Christ at the center.
I know that I am waiting; I am not waiting for this young man, or for any man for that matter. I am waiting on God. I am waiting for his direction for everything. Whatever I do with relationships: romantic ones and beautiful friendships, what I do in school and work and how I am involved at church. Church is going through some leadership changes, but I know that God is in control. Missions, I am not sure what God has planned. I know that school is my mission field. I know also that I love to serve him while I am waiting. I love to serve others wherever God will put me.
About this young man, he is such a good friend. I am so thankful for him.
When I think about the kind of man I want to marry. One would be that he would be a great friend. And this young man is a close friend. Closer than any other of my guy friends. Recently, I have tried to make him less close. I have tried to stop telling him things and ironically he has noticed. I am not good at hiding things, but I am able to not tell him when he asked. It makes me laugh how he was still trying to figure out what was on my mind. A big part of what was on my mind was him.
I wouldn't tell him that, no sir. And I really should be done talking to him about guys in general. Or having him talk to me about his likes and interests and whatever is going on. I do care, and as a friend, I am there for advice or feedback or whatnot. But perhaps it is not the best case.
Well I am going to go enjoy sunshine now. I am sick of wrapping presents.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Joy and Sunshine
My heart has been filled with so much joy. Beginning with simple rays of sunlight and a worship song as an alarm that woke me up on the day of my finals, the joy just filled my heart. Studying for finals is something I did some over the past week before the finals, but perhaps not as much as I should have been doing. Rather than studying, I found myself baking cookies and chocolates. I have never baked so much at one time in my life. I wonder if I should have been studying more. I did study, don’t get me wrong, and I am not sure if I studied more, if it would have even helped. Yet when I say that, I just wonder if I am just justifying not studying; however, the exams are over with, the semester is done, and I have given out many cookies to some lovely and precious friends that God has blessed me with. I was able to see most of all my friends before I left for the break, even a few I did not think I would be able to see. My heart is bursting forth with joy and thankfulness to God SO SO SO much. I cannot comprehend fully the many blessings and answers to prayer requests. I am blown away by the love He has given me through His grace. I am so blessed to have been able to show some love to my crazy friends. They bring so much joy into my life.
Jesus brings joy.
"I have given given my life to the only one who makes the moon reflect the sun."
Jesus brings joy.
"I have given given my life to the only one who makes the moon reflect the sun."
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Prosperity
God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him
in the midst of loss, not prosperity.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalms 73:26
In Christ. ♥
in the midst of loss, not prosperity.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalms 73:26
In Christ. ♥
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Trust the Designer.
November 11 - Heaven's Colors
Looking back you will see that every step was planned. Leave all to Me. Each stone in the mosaic fits into the perfect pattern, designed by the Master Artist.
It is all so wonderful!
But the colors are of Heaven's hues, so that your eyes could not bear to gaze on the whole, until you are beyond the veil.
So, stone by stone, you see, and trust the pattern to the Designer.
When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and
when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. Proverbs 4:12
Looking back you will see that every step was planned. Leave all to Me. Each stone in the mosaic fits into the perfect pattern, designed by the Master Artist.
It is all so wonderful!
But the colors are of Heaven's hues, so that your eyes could not bear to gaze on the whole, until you are beyond the veil.
So, stone by stone, you see, and trust the pattern to the Designer.
When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and
when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. Proverbs 4:12
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Haiti Story.
Sorry it has taken a while to put this together. The words in italics are what I was able to update people back home with Facebook status updates while I was in Jacmel. This mission was a life changing experience and I hope to return. The children will not remember me, but I hope that they remember the one who matters, Christ. I know I will always remember them.
Day one: travel.
Day two (day one in Haiti): travel to Haiti; MAF 5 person plane ride to Jacmel. Road in a taptap. Held a child at an orphange after having a girl jump on me as I entered.
I went to Jacmel, Haiti from Friday July 30th to Saturday August 6th. Our team had ten people, five guys and five girls (one of the guys being the college pastor, Ben, and the rest college age 18-25). It took about a day of travel to get to Jacmel. We went from Portland, OR to Dallas, TX and then to Miami, FL. We got into Miami at midnight. After “sleeping” a few hours in the airport, we went to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. We rode our first “Tap-tap” (Haitian taxi - it is like a truck with a higher raised bed in the back with two benches on each side). We piled our luggage and all ten of us in to the tap-tap to get from one airport to another. We had several hours waiting in a small warm airport before our flight to Jacmel. We took a Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF) flights to Jacmel. The plane can only hold 1000 pounds maximum with six passengers, one being the pilot, and our luggage. Half of the team went to Jacmel on the MAF flight at noon and when the plane returned, the rest of the team went. The flight from Port-Au-Prince to Jacmel was about twenty minutes. During the flight over Port-au-Prince, we were able to see the ten communities that have formed.
Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative, CCHI, has rented a nice two story home in Jacmel. After we settled in the home, we had orientation and an overview of what we were doing for the week. Later, we went to an orphanage called Mother Thereso’s orphanage. The ladies at the orphanage feed, clean, and whatever else that is needed to take care of the children. The younger children would stay in cribs and the only time they would be held what when they were being changed or fed. The older children were outside and inside playing or some were sleeping. As soon as we entered the orphanage, the children would hug us or hold our hand. I had a girl jump on me as I walked through the door. We were able to feed the babies and play with the older children outside. We stayed there about thirty minutes and then went back to the home for dinner. We were very tired from traveling and went to bed early.
Our meals for the week were very good, better than what I had expected. CCHI had hired a Haitian lady to cook for long term missionaries and the short term teams. Marie Carmel would cook breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was most days was oatmeal and fresh fruit; a couple of days we had pancakes with fruit. Dinner was usually a Haitian dish with rice. For lunch we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches almost every day. Lunches were made by some members of my team that had that as their chore.
Each member of the team was given chores for the week that were done every day after breakfast or when it was needed to be done. My chore with another guy Ben (not the college pastor) was to sweep and mop all the floors in and around the house; I also had dinner dishes as a chore. Other chores were making lunch, doing the dishes after the meals, making purified water through a filtration system, making sure the two water coolers were filled with water and ice, and cleaning the bathrooms.
Day two: mopped the floors in the house. Went to church called Hosana; talked about victory in God. Swam in the Carribbean.
Sunday, we went to the church; half our team went to an early service. I went to a later one and we sat in the front row. They had a time of worship and a sermon. The sermon was in Creole (language of Haiti that is a mix of French and an African dialect). The pastor spoke a few sentences of what the sermon was about in English. We had lunch back at the house and then had the afternoon to spend at the beach swimming in the Caribbean. Besides having our tap-tap break down on the side of the road for a little bit, it was a relaxing day after travel before a busy week ahead of us.
Day three: VBS at an orphanage in the morning and at a church by the beach. Showed a cartoon version of the Jesus film and did a skit about having Jezi, Jesus, in your heart.
From Monday to Thursday we had an early rise at 5:30 or 6am and had a time of prayer, ate breakfast and did chores. Once we were done with chores we would go out and do Vacation Bible School type outreaches. We would go to an orphanage or community church for an hour to two in the mornings and afternoons; we would go back to the house for lunch. We would present the gospel to the children and play games with the children with the parachute, jump-rope, and soccer ball. Sometimes we would make balloon animals for them or let them blow bubbles. What we did depended on how many children we had and how much space we had. The children loved to be loved: held, touched, and play games with them. We would present the gospel with the wordless book colors [yellow or gold = heaven; black = sin; red = Jesus’ blood; white = made pure; green = new life.] and give them bracelets.
Another team had arrived to CCHI home a day sooner than anticipated and we were able to help them get settled in the home and serve them. Since we had been there a few days, it was like we were a part of the home and they were our guests. It made the house full of people. They were a team that would put on sports out reaches. We expected their team to be a younger group, but they were around my parent’s age and we expected to get to know them more, but that didn’t happen. We had some moments where someone knew the same person someone on our team knew. Makes us realize how small the world is. We didn’t work with them at all, just stayed at the same house with them and had some meals together.
After dinner Monday, we went back to the church by the beach and showed the film, “The God Man,” and did the skit. Some members of the team learned the skit Sunday night. The skit had a girl with a large cardboard heart that had the middle cut out from it; she would walk around sad showing the crowd of people her empty heart. Two others would come in front of the crowd and one would try to fill her heart with partying and getting drunk and the other would try to fill her heart with money. When that did not work, they tried to fill her heart with themselves, but that would not work either so they left. Another friend came in and told her about Jesus from the Bible and prayed with her, after that Jezi, Jesus, filled her heart and she was happy. The pastor at the church went up to the front, and explained the skit to the crowd of people. He had an alter call and a few people came to know Jesus.
Day four: VBS at an orphange. Haitian spagetti for lunch. Heading up the mountain for another VBS and showing the film and skit. God is doing great things. The children love being held.
End of day four: [Tuesday] Had pb & j for dinner. The ride up the mountain on the Tap Tap was exciting, some would say terrifying; however we made it there and back to the CCHI home. I believed that if the wind and waves obey Christ, that the Tap Tap and the tires would listen too. We showed the cartoon Jesus film and played games on the mountain.
My time in Haiti allowed me to get to know the people on my team better and the experience Tuesday helped the bonding. According to one of my friends Jeremy, we almost died going to the church on the mountain. I did not see or feel that way but the experience was pretty intense. On our way to the church in the mountains it began to rain. We had a bigger tap-tap because we had to drive through some shallow rivers. The rain made the road slippery and we hit something (a rock?) and one of the four back tires popped. For about ten minutes we were stuck on a hill with a cliff on one side. We slid backwards a few times; eventually we went backwards purposefully to become not stuck and then the driver just revved the engine to get over the area. We made it to the church and showed the film inside the church while it was raining. After the film and alter call, the children went outside and we played games with them. The original plan was that our team was going to go to this church and have a VBS for the afternoon and then have a dinner break and then show the film in the evening. The rain and our circumstances changed the plan, but God was definitely in control. He kept us safe and allowed us to leave during daylight and make it home safely.
We made it home early in the evening and were able to rest and have a group meeting and devotional time. Ben, the college pastor, had us that evening say something encouraging about everyone. It took a while, but it was really good. I prayed for God to keep me humble because I know whatever good that I may have done, the credit goes to God and for His glory.
Every morning and evening we had a group prayer time and devotional time. It was pretty neat to be able to learn more of God through our experiences and through reading his word, prayer and fellowship.
Day five: (facebook kicks me off for attempting to log on with an unfamiliar phone and place.) [Wed] went to an all girls orphanage and played with them on a small patio space. Had pb & j for lunch. Went to a community church and ran a VBS where there were probably 100 kids. Walked from the house to the view point and then walked down to the cove/beach. Climbed up some rocks and jumped in the ocean.
Spending time with these children was such a blessing. I know that they won’t remember me but I hope and pray that they remember Jesus that was shining through the members of my team. At each place I went to, a child would latch on to me and want to be carried or hold my hand. I would pray for them to know Jesus and to grow to be a strong woman or man of God.
I somewhat became the photographer of the trip. There is only so much I could do when they are playing games. I found I was most useful in documenting the event. When I was taking photos or videos, many times I was holding a child or holding their hand. The children loved to have their pictures taken and then to see their photo on the view screen of the digital camera. A girl at this all girls orphanage was lovely and her eyes were so beautiful. All these children are precious. I know that there is one child I specifically remember from almost all the places, their memory is in my heart.
Day six: [Thursday] Went to the tent village community and ran a VBS. I walked around with a girl and took some video of the places. Had pb & j for lunch at the house. Went to the orphanage that we went to on the first day. I held a 7mo. boy named Markenson.
It was kind of a surreal experience to go back to the same orphanage we went to the first day. The realization that we had been there for a week and our time there was about to come to a close. I did not want to leave; I never want to leave on the mission trips I have gone on in the past. I have had such a hard time transitioning coming back even though it was a week. I prayed that God would help me transition well this time.
Day seven: Friday travel MAF to Port-au-Prince. Was driven around there and saw the devastation of Port-au-Prince and the buildings that have collapsed and haven't been touched. Different that Jacmel that has rebuilt much. We headed to Miami. Hit up South Beach and Pizza Rustica and a Comfort Inn.
Seeing the devastation in Port-Au-Prince was so much different than what we have been seeing in Jacmel the past week. Jamel has 40,000 people which allow them to have the means to clean up and begin rebuilding. Port-Au-Prince has 3 million people, so many people that has made it hard to go through all the rubble. The driver that took us around said that every day that they go through the rubble and are finding bodies. We saw the cathedral, the capital, three story buildings now one story, and so many piles of rubble. When I was back at home a couple of weeks, I watched a video where a group went two weeks after the earthquake. I realized that what I saw of the cathedral and capital seven months later was similar to what it looked like two weeks after the earthquake.
We went to the airport and waited for our flight to Miami. I was tired or it was that I took some motion sickness medicine for the first time and it just put me out. I was asleep most of our wait for the flight. Once in Miami at nine pm, we took a shuttle from the airport to Comfort Inn and there was another group on the shuttle. They were on their way to Haiti. They knew some of the same people we had met. It was neat to meet them as we were coming home from Haiti. Although tired, we had some fun walking around South Beach, getting some food and putting our feet (some of my friends put their whole self) in the Atlantic. We were back at the hotel at midnight and had to be up at four because we had a flight at 6am. I was out asleep, while others I think went exploring around the hotel.
Day eight: Saturday. Early flight from Miami to Dallas and then to Portland. Now, home.>
Day one: travel.
Day two (day one in Haiti): travel to Haiti; MAF 5 person plane ride to Jacmel. Road in a taptap. Held a child at an orphange after having a girl jump on me as I entered.
I went to Jacmel, Haiti from Friday July 30th to Saturday August 6th. Our team had ten people, five guys and five girls (one of the guys being the college pastor, Ben, and the rest college age 18-25). It took about a day of travel to get to Jacmel. We went from Portland, OR to Dallas, TX and then to Miami, FL. We got into Miami at midnight. After “sleeping” a few hours in the airport, we went to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. We rode our first “Tap-tap” (Haitian taxi - it is like a truck with a higher raised bed in the back with two benches on each side). We piled our luggage and all ten of us in to the tap-tap to get from one airport to another. We had several hours waiting in a small warm airport before our flight to Jacmel. We took a Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF) flights to Jacmel. The plane can only hold 1000 pounds maximum with six passengers, one being the pilot, and our luggage. Half of the team went to Jacmel on the MAF flight at noon and when the plane returned, the rest of the team went. The flight from Port-Au-Prince to Jacmel was about twenty minutes. During the flight over Port-au-Prince, we were able to see the ten communities that have formed.
Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative, CCHI, has rented a nice two story home in Jacmel. After we settled in the home, we had orientation and an overview of what we were doing for the week. Later, we went to an orphanage called Mother Thereso’s orphanage. The ladies at the orphanage feed, clean, and whatever else that is needed to take care of the children. The younger children would stay in cribs and the only time they would be held what when they were being changed or fed. The older children were outside and inside playing or some were sleeping. As soon as we entered the orphanage, the children would hug us or hold our hand. I had a girl jump on me as I walked through the door. We were able to feed the babies and play with the older children outside. We stayed there about thirty minutes and then went back to the home for dinner. We were very tired from traveling and went to bed early.
Our meals for the week were very good, better than what I had expected. CCHI had hired a Haitian lady to cook for long term missionaries and the short term teams. Marie Carmel would cook breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was most days was oatmeal and fresh fruit; a couple of days we had pancakes with fruit. Dinner was usually a Haitian dish with rice. For lunch we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches almost every day. Lunches were made by some members of my team that had that as their chore.
Each member of the team was given chores for the week that were done every day after breakfast or when it was needed to be done. My chore with another guy Ben (not the college pastor) was to sweep and mop all the floors in and around the house; I also had dinner dishes as a chore. Other chores were making lunch, doing the dishes after the meals, making purified water through a filtration system, making sure the two water coolers were filled with water and ice, and cleaning the bathrooms.
Day two: mopped the floors in the house. Went to church called Hosana; talked about victory in God. Swam in the Carribbean.
Sunday, we went to the church; half our team went to an early service. I went to a later one and we sat in the front row. They had a time of worship and a sermon. The sermon was in Creole (language of Haiti that is a mix of French and an African dialect). The pastor spoke a few sentences of what the sermon was about in English. We had lunch back at the house and then had the afternoon to spend at the beach swimming in the Caribbean. Besides having our tap-tap break down on the side of the road for a little bit, it was a relaxing day after travel before a busy week ahead of us.
Day three: VBS at an orphanage in the morning and at a church by the beach. Showed a cartoon version of the Jesus film and did a skit about having Jezi, Jesus, in your heart.
From Monday to Thursday we had an early rise at 5:30 or 6am and had a time of prayer, ate breakfast and did chores. Once we were done with chores we would go out and do Vacation Bible School type outreaches. We would go to an orphanage or community church for an hour to two in the mornings and afternoons; we would go back to the house for lunch. We would present the gospel to the children and play games with the children with the parachute, jump-rope, and soccer ball. Sometimes we would make balloon animals for them or let them blow bubbles. What we did depended on how many children we had and how much space we had. The children loved to be loved: held, touched, and play games with them. We would present the gospel with the wordless book colors [yellow or gold = heaven; black = sin; red = Jesus’ blood; white = made pure; green = new life.] and give them bracelets.
Another team had arrived to CCHI home a day sooner than anticipated and we were able to help them get settled in the home and serve them. Since we had been there a few days, it was like we were a part of the home and they were our guests. It made the house full of people. They were a team that would put on sports out reaches. We expected their team to be a younger group, but they were around my parent’s age and we expected to get to know them more, but that didn’t happen. We had some moments where someone knew the same person someone on our team knew. Makes us realize how small the world is. We didn’t work with them at all, just stayed at the same house with them and had some meals together.
After dinner Monday, we went back to the church by the beach and showed the film, “The God Man,” and did the skit. Some members of the team learned the skit Sunday night. The skit had a girl with a large cardboard heart that had the middle cut out from it; she would walk around sad showing the crowd of people her empty heart. Two others would come in front of the crowd and one would try to fill her heart with partying and getting drunk and the other would try to fill her heart with money. When that did not work, they tried to fill her heart with themselves, but that would not work either so they left. Another friend came in and told her about Jesus from the Bible and prayed with her, after that Jezi, Jesus, filled her heart and she was happy. The pastor at the church went up to the front, and explained the skit to the crowd of people. He had an alter call and a few people came to know Jesus.
Day four: VBS at an orphange. Haitian spagetti for lunch. Heading up the mountain for another VBS and showing the film and skit. God is doing great things. The children love being held.
End of day four: [Tuesday] Had pb & j for dinner. The ride up the mountain on the Tap Tap was exciting, some would say terrifying; however we made it there and back to the CCHI home. I believed that if the wind and waves obey Christ, that the Tap Tap and the tires would listen too. We showed the cartoon Jesus film and played games on the mountain.
My time in Haiti allowed me to get to know the people on my team better and the experience Tuesday helped the bonding. According to one of my friends Jeremy, we almost died going to the church on the mountain. I did not see or feel that way but the experience was pretty intense. On our way to the church in the mountains it began to rain. We had a bigger tap-tap because we had to drive through some shallow rivers. The rain made the road slippery and we hit something (a rock?) and one of the four back tires popped. For about ten minutes we were stuck on a hill with a cliff on one side. We slid backwards a few times; eventually we went backwards purposefully to become not stuck and then the driver just revved the engine to get over the area. We made it to the church and showed the film inside the church while it was raining. After the film and alter call, the children went outside and we played games with them. The original plan was that our team was going to go to this church and have a VBS for the afternoon and then have a dinner break and then show the film in the evening. The rain and our circumstances changed the plan, but God was definitely in control. He kept us safe and allowed us to leave during daylight and make it home safely.
We made it home early in the evening and were able to rest and have a group meeting and devotional time. Ben, the college pastor, had us that evening say something encouraging about everyone. It took a while, but it was really good. I prayed for God to keep me humble because I know whatever good that I may have done, the credit goes to God and for His glory.
Every morning and evening we had a group prayer time and devotional time. It was pretty neat to be able to learn more of God through our experiences and through reading his word, prayer and fellowship.
Day five: (facebook kicks me off for attempting to log on with an unfamiliar phone and place.) [Wed] went to an all girls orphanage and played with them on a small patio space. Had pb & j for lunch. Went to a community church and ran a VBS where there were probably 100 kids. Walked from the house to the view point and then walked down to the cove/beach. Climbed up some rocks and jumped in the ocean.
Spending time with these children was such a blessing. I know that they won’t remember me but I hope and pray that they remember Jesus that was shining through the members of my team. At each place I went to, a child would latch on to me and want to be carried or hold my hand. I would pray for them to know Jesus and to grow to be a strong woman or man of God.
I somewhat became the photographer of the trip. There is only so much I could do when they are playing games. I found I was most useful in documenting the event. When I was taking photos or videos, many times I was holding a child or holding their hand. The children loved to have their pictures taken and then to see their photo on the view screen of the digital camera. A girl at this all girls orphanage was lovely and her eyes were so beautiful. All these children are precious. I know that there is one child I specifically remember from almost all the places, their memory is in my heart.
Day six: [Thursday] Went to the tent village community and ran a VBS. I walked around with a girl and took some video of the places. Had pb & j for lunch at the house. Went to the orphanage that we went to on the first day. I held a 7mo. boy named Markenson.
It was kind of a surreal experience to go back to the same orphanage we went to the first day. The realization that we had been there for a week and our time there was about to come to a close. I did not want to leave; I never want to leave on the mission trips I have gone on in the past. I have had such a hard time transitioning coming back even though it was a week. I prayed that God would help me transition well this time.
Day seven: Friday travel MAF to Port-au-Prince. Was driven around there and saw the devastation of Port-au-Prince and the buildings that have collapsed and haven't been touched. Different that Jacmel that has rebuilt much. We headed to Miami. Hit up South Beach and Pizza Rustica and a Comfort Inn.
Seeing the devastation in Port-Au-Prince was so much different than what we have been seeing in Jacmel the past week. Jamel has 40,000 people which allow them to have the means to clean up and begin rebuilding. Port-Au-Prince has 3 million people, so many people that has made it hard to go through all the rubble. The driver that took us around said that every day that they go through the rubble and are finding bodies. We saw the cathedral, the capital, three story buildings now one story, and so many piles of rubble. When I was back at home a couple of weeks, I watched a video where a group went two weeks after the earthquake. I realized that what I saw of the cathedral and capital seven months later was similar to what it looked like two weeks after the earthquake.
We went to the airport and waited for our flight to Miami. I was tired or it was that I took some motion sickness medicine for the first time and it just put me out. I was asleep most of our wait for the flight. Once in Miami at nine pm, we took a shuttle from the airport to Comfort Inn and there was another group on the shuttle. They were on their way to Haiti. They knew some of the same people we had met. It was neat to meet them as we were coming home from Haiti. Although tired, we had some fun walking around South Beach, getting some food and putting our feet (some of my friends put their whole self) in the Atlantic. We were back at the hotel at midnight and had to be up at four because we had a flight at 6am. I was out asleep, while others I think went exploring around the hotel.
Day eight: Saturday. Early flight from Miami to Dallas and then to Portland. Now, home.>
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
For love of You God.
Such a beautiful song [after the crazy k-love intro]
I will follow you forever God.
You are my foundation.
His grace and love is enough.
He is my joy.
His joy is my strength.
I strive to live for the love of God and for His glory.
Deep deep love... Romance.
Divine Romance.
PASSION.
Have a passion for Jesus.
"Send us with fire to go love the world."
I will follow you forever God.
You are my foundation.
His grace and love is enough.
He is my joy.
His joy is my strength.
I strive to live for the love of God and for His glory.
Deep deep love... Romance.
Divine Romance.
PASSION.
Have a passion for Jesus.
"Send us with fire to go love the world."
Monday, October 11, 2010
My portion
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
In this moment
The moment to surrender.
The moment to trust.
The moment to follow.
This moment matters.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
In this moment
The moment to surrender.
The moment to trust.
The moment to follow.
This moment matters.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Signs.
God is so great and can create something so magnificent to turn a beach sunset into a romantic breathtaking masterpiece and stars that just blow my mind away when I see them without light pollution. Oh the brilliance.
1 Thessalonians 5
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
In Christ. ♥
Jezi.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
Nothing can ever fill your heart fully other than Jesus.
You can try with partying, money, friendships, relationships, or anything else.
Those will not suffice.
It may momentarily, but the 'full' feeling in your heart will fade.
You will go back for more for that feeling again, but it will not last.
Jesus will last.
Fill your heart with Jesus and you will feel whole.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Nothing can ever fill your heart fully other than Jesus.
You can try with partying, money, friendships, relationships, or anything else.
Those will not suffice.
It may momentarily, but the 'full' feeling in your heart will fade.
You will go back for more for that feeling again, but it will not last.
Jesus will last.
Fill your heart with Jesus and you will feel whole.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Healing Begins.
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I Celebrate the Day
I love this song. I would love to learn to play this song. For Christmas, this is so perfect. I have this song playing at times throughout the year. It makes sense though. What we are celebrating in this month should be followed with Easter and Easter not forgotten for that is why he came. This is what should drive us, give us a passion, and help us live. I boast in nothing except in Jesus Christ and him crucified and him resurrected.
Hosanna in the highest.
Jesus is risen. He is risen indeed.
It is not Easter, its closer to Christmas.
However, this reality is what we are all about - Jesus lives. Jesus saves.
Remember what Christ did on the cross, how he conquered death and gave us life.
Jesus, you're all this heart I am living for.
Grateful
I am full of joy.
I love Jesus.
He is the joy of my heart.
Jesus loves me.
He gave me life.
He is amazing and perfect.
No fault did he have no matter how hard the pharisees tried to find one.
His love and mercy washes over me.
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself,[a] so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24
I have given my life to Christ and he takes me just as I am.
I know that all things are possible with Christ and that whatever hardships come my way that I will stick with Christ.
He will be my strength and my song and my joy.
I will be able to say It is well with my soul.
It will be because I have Christ and he brings life, so much life that while I serve him here on earth I can bring glory to God and share his love with others.
A lovely child of God in Kenya
I love Jesus.
He is the joy of my heart.
Jesus loves me.
He gave me life.
He is amazing and perfect.
No fault did he have no matter how hard the pharisees tried to find one.
His love and mercy washes over me.
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself,[a] so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24
I have given my life to Christ and he takes me just as I am.
I know that all things are possible with Christ and that whatever hardships come my way that I will stick with Christ.
He will be my strength and my song and my joy.
I will be able to say It is well with my soul.
It will be because I have Christ and he brings life, so much life that while I serve him here on earth I can bring glory to God and share his love with others.
A lovely child of God in Kenya
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
There will be a day
Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." No more tears.
This day will come. Until then, just have hope and keep living life.
Live a life worth living. A life worth living is a life lived for Christ.
Despite the trials and chaos of this life, it is full of love, joy and peace.
Christ brings wisdom.
James 3:13-18 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
A Jesus moment: In church today, heaven was walked about and how that one day all the hardships of this life will pass and how amazing heaven will be. Yesterday and the past few days I have been just thinking about heaven. And later today I was in a car with a friend and the same two songs that led me to think of Heaven so much is what we listened to. Brilliance.
I see God.
I see God in his creation.
The creation reveals the creator.
It looks designed. It is designed.
Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer
Go chase daylight.
Friday, September 10, 2010
. . . in my heart bursting forth
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
Brilliance.
Never alone no matter how lonely I may feel.
The joy of Jesus in my heart is bursting.
It fills my heart so much.
I am dancing/skipping around my house.
I am listening to the songs below. They are about heaven.
It sounds so lovely whether you believe it is real or not.
What will it be like to live forever in a place where there is no more hurt or tears or heartache or death.
The sorrow and pains of today will be gone forever.
Just love and joy. Love and joy beyond our comprehension in this world.
My soul is getting restless for the place where I belong.
I am so excited for this place!
On this earth I am living now. I am living eternal life now.
I am living it with full force with the strength of God.
I am chasing daylight; I am seizing the moments God gives me and searching him for more. The hands that hold the world are holding my heart.
I have prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks his.
What I have found that my heart is broken so much.
God's heart breaks for his precious creation, his people.
I know that Jesus has my heart and holds all the pieces.
He has the power of healing and has brought so much healing in my life.
I desire for all to know of this peace, love, and joy.
Joy and love that is so much that I cannot contain it, that I run and sing and dance.
Have you seen a sunrise or a sunset? Or what do you find to be the most beautiful?
Heaven is far more gorgeous than this glimpse that God has given us on this earth through his glorious creation. I cannot wait for this place.
Until then, I live here to share this joy with you in hopes you will find this joy as well. Cherish the simplicity of this life. Don't over complicate things.
I've written this before: Find joy in the simple things of this life. Don't over complicate things. It is simple. Love Jesus. Live for Jesus.
Oh you all, how I wish you could live in forever with me.
In Christs love. ♥
Lovely Haitian girl.
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
Brilliance.
Never alone no matter how lonely I may feel.
The joy of Jesus in my heart is bursting.
It fills my heart so much.
I am dancing/skipping around my house.
I am listening to the songs below. They are about heaven.
It sounds so lovely whether you believe it is real or not.
What will it be like to live forever in a place where there is no more hurt or tears or heartache or death.
The sorrow and pains of today will be gone forever.
Just love and joy. Love and joy beyond our comprehension in this world.
My soul is getting restless for the place where I belong.
I am so excited for this place!
On this earth I am living now. I am living eternal life now.
I am living it with full force with the strength of God.
I am chasing daylight; I am seizing the moments God gives me and searching him for more. The hands that hold the world are holding my heart.
I have prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks his.
What I have found that my heart is broken so much.
God's heart breaks for his precious creation, his people.
I know that Jesus has my heart and holds all the pieces.
He has the power of healing and has brought so much healing in my life.
I desire for all to know of this peace, love, and joy.
Joy and love that is so much that I cannot contain it, that I run and sing and dance.
Have you seen a sunrise or a sunset? Or what do you find to be the most beautiful?
Heaven is far more gorgeous than this glimpse that God has given us on this earth through his glorious creation. I cannot wait for this place.
Until then, I live here to share this joy with you in hopes you will find this joy as well. Cherish the simplicity of this life. Don't over complicate things.
I've written this before: Find joy in the simple things of this life. Don't over complicate things. It is simple. Love Jesus. Live for Jesus.
Oh you all, how I wish you could live in forever with me.
In Christs love. ♥
Lovely Haitian girl.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Its a choice
Starting school has been ridiculous.
Okay so thats a strange statement.
I do like change, but I don't think my mind changes quickly enough.
It has been hard going to school and I have not wanted to the first week.
And on Monday the second week, I didn't do any work.
I was so reluctant to do any work.
I wasted the afternoon away doing no work, being lonely, and wasting time watching TV.
I eventually did something productive and figured out what food to bring bible study.
I headed over to bible study and the plan for the evening was to have good fellowship and for Daniel and I to share about our mission trips this summer.
We ate food and hung out. I watched them play a game, there was many people there. We shared and it was a great time. Daniel said something about how the people in Indonesia value school so much.
After listening and sharing, I began thinking.
Talking about Haiti let me remember the experience and the joy I had serving.
I had a realization that this stuff about school needed to stop.
I just needed to shut up and stop complaining.
I thought about Philippians 2 and shining like stars.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."
I want to shine like stars.
I chose to just go to school and just do it the rest of the week.
I chose to be joyful.
I found this verse.
"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
Psalms 90:4
And I remembered this. This is what keeps me in school.
And this song I've been listening.
It is well with my soul.
Truly.
So be it.
Reality: I am a sinner in need of a Savior.
Okay so thats a strange statement.
I do like change, but I don't think my mind changes quickly enough.
It has been hard going to school and I have not wanted to the first week.
And on Monday the second week, I didn't do any work.
I was so reluctant to do any work.
I wasted the afternoon away doing no work, being lonely, and wasting time watching TV.
I eventually did something productive and figured out what food to bring bible study.
I headed over to bible study and the plan for the evening was to have good fellowship and for Daniel and I to share about our mission trips this summer.
We ate food and hung out. I watched them play a game, there was many people there. We shared and it was a great time. Daniel said something about how the people in Indonesia value school so much.
After listening and sharing, I began thinking.
Talking about Haiti let me remember the experience and the joy I had serving.
I had a realization that this stuff about school needed to stop.
I just needed to shut up and stop complaining.
I thought about Philippians 2 and shining like stars.
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."
I want to shine like stars.
I chose to just go to school and just do it the rest of the week.
I chose to be joyful.
I found this verse.
"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
Psalms 90:4
And I remembered this. This is what keeps me in school.
And this song I've been listening.
It is well with my soul.
Truly.
So be it.
Reality: I am a sinner in need of a Savior.
A take on Romans 7
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Read the whole chapter
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+7&version=NIV
In one of my journals from two years ago I had notes about the passage. I remember going to Ascent and learning about transforming faith. They were doing a study through Romans.
The following are some notes along with thoughts as I typed them out of my journal.
Change IS possible.
The struggle for change: Romans 7
David: great leader, great sinner.
David, a man after God’s own heart, he lusted and had an affair with a woman and then had her husband killed in battle.
True peace and Joy is with Jesus.
Have Jesus as your master.
Law has power over people who are alive.
“to death til us part”
Jesus died for you!
When you accepted him you also died w/him and rose with new life!
As Christians
-we died with Christ
-we rose with new life
-we can serve Jesus with His love.
What the law cannot command, love can do.
Do not covet with your attitude and even with your thoughts.
Law: find failure and condemn it.
Nothing wrong with God’s law, the problem is with us.
God uses a good thing to show the badness of a bad thing.
“But I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin” – Paul
You cannot be married to Adam and Jesus at the same time.
“I don’t understand what I do.”
You are either a slave to sin or a slave to God.
Sins are the symptoms of a fundamental disease, sin.
Paul, who was Saul, says he is a living contradiction
Will Power is not enough
“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?!”
When you hit rock bottom, you can look up.
“Thanks be to God!”
Who has the character, concert and capacity.
Fully human, fully divine
God loves you - sent his son.
Jesus loves you – sent his spirit.
Spirit loves you – wants love to shine.
Use the power God has provided.
[more may be added]
Read the whole chapter
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+7&version=NIV
In one of my journals from two years ago I had notes about the passage. I remember going to Ascent and learning about transforming faith. They were doing a study through Romans.
The following are some notes along with thoughts as I typed them out of my journal.
Change IS possible.
The struggle for change: Romans 7
David: great leader, great sinner.
David, a man after God’s own heart, he lusted and had an affair with a woman and then had her husband killed in battle.
True peace and Joy is with Jesus.
Have Jesus as your master.
Law has power over people who are alive.
“to death til us part”
Jesus died for you!
When you accepted him you also died w/him and rose with new life!
As Christians
-we died with Christ
-we rose with new life
-we can serve Jesus with His love.
What the law cannot command, love can do.
Do not covet with your attitude and even with your thoughts.
Law: find failure and condemn it.
Nothing wrong with God’s law, the problem is with us.
God uses a good thing to show the badness of a bad thing.
“But I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin” – Paul
You cannot be married to Adam and Jesus at the same time.
“I don’t understand what I do.”
You are either a slave to sin or a slave to God.
Sins are the symptoms of a fundamental disease, sin.
Paul, who was Saul, says he is a living contradiction
Will Power is not enough
“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?!”
When you hit rock bottom, you can look up.
“Thanks be to God!”
Who has the character, concert and capacity.
Fully human, fully divine
God loves you - sent his son.
Jesus loves you – sent his spirit.
Spirit loves you – wants love to shine.
Use the power God has provided.
[more may be added]
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
College kids . . .
Someone please save us, us college kids
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I questioned why I did
. . .
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree
What I find humorous is that my major simply stated is pretty much arts and crafts.
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I questioned why I did
. . .
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree
What I find humorous is that my major simply stated is pretty much arts and crafts.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The beginning is near . . .
I began this blog when school was about out and summer was starting.
Now school will begin again tomorrow.
I spent the last moments of summer in Long Beach at Dunes bible camp
with some great college age kids.
I love the beach. The waves and the sand and the sun.
God makes beautiful things.
I even see now as I come home and talking with a friend.
Somehow we got on the subject of poetry.
I believe it was due to this image.
Its an interesting image; however, when I read the first line, I thought again.
When faced with two choices... I pray.
He asked if I was into poetry and I began to speak of high school where most of my English courses consisted of some poetry.
He asked if one stuck with me and if I would share it with him.
I wanted to share it with him about a week ago but I didn't.
God gave me this opportunity to share it with him now.
This is the poem, along with an old post from Facebook which I am sure still prevalent in my life.
His Plan for Me
By Martha Snell Nicholson
When I stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ
And He shows me His plan for me,
The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had He had His way; and I see
How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there
And I would not yield my will,
Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief though He loves me still?
He would have me rich, and I stand here poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I cannot retrace.
Then my desolate heart will well nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed;
I shall cover my face with my empty hands;
I shall bow my uncrowned head.
Lord of the years that are left to me,
I give them to Thy hand;
Take me and break me, mold me to
The pattern Thou hast planned.
This is a poem I had in my head since I memorized it freshman year of high school.
I hope that when I am before him, he will be able to show me my life and how he had his way.
Theres just something that I am realizing once again
of our culture, of our world. We've learned to be in the world and not of the world.
Yet within this culture it isn't easy to do.
There is something about trials.
Someone said that if you're not in one, get ready its coming.
Trials help us get our focus back and grow in God more.
School isn't easy and seems pointless.
I need to just do it though.
I am trying not to complain about things anymore.
I heard these good few verses.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
***
School tomorrow
And so it begins . . .
Now school will begin again tomorrow.
I spent the last moments of summer in Long Beach at Dunes bible camp
with some great college age kids.
I love the beach. The waves and the sand and the sun.
God makes beautiful things.
I even see now as I come home and talking with a friend.
Somehow we got on the subject of poetry.
I believe it was due to this image.
Its an interesting image; however, when I read the first line, I thought again.
When faced with two choices... I pray.
He asked if I was into poetry and I began to speak of high school where most of my English courses consisted of some poetry.
He asked if one stuck with me and if I would share it with him.
I wanted to share it with him about a week ago but I didn't.
God gave me this opportunity to share it with him now.
This is the poem, along with an old post from Facebook which I am sure still prevalent in my life.
His Plan for Me
By Martha Snell Nicholson
When I stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ
And He shows me His plan for me,
The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had He had His way; and I see
How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there
And I would not yield my will,
Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief though He loves me still?
He would have me rich, and I stand here poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I cannot retrace.
Then my desolate heart will well nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed;
I shall cover my face with my empty hands;
I shall bow my uncrowned head.
Lord of the years that are left to me,
I give them to Thy hand;
Take me and break me, mold me to
The pattern Thou hast planned.
This is a poem I had in my head since I memorized it freshman year of high school.
I hope that when I am before him, he will be able to show me my life and how he had his way.
Theres just something that I am realizing once again
of our culture, of our world. We've learned to be in the world and not of the world.
Yet within this culture it isn't easy to do.
There is something about trials.
Someone said that if you're not in one, get ready its coming.
Trials help us get our focus back and grow in God more.
School isn't easy and seems pointless.
I need to just do it though.
I am trying not to complain about things anymore.
I heard these good few verses.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
***
School tomorrow
And so it begins . . .
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Healing Begins.
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Haiti
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Follow You]
Well more about Haiti]
(I could possibly write a book about Follow You.)
*******
“All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I´ll... Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world”
I will be going to Jacmel, Haiti in about a week.
I will be going with 9 other college age kids.
We will be working with Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative.
http://www.calvarychapelhaitiinitiative.org/
I am not exactly sure what I will be doing.
I will tell you in two weeks.
Here is an idea of what we will be doing:
Opportunities will include evangelism, children's VBS-style ministry, medical, social work, clean up, rebuilding homes and orphanages, and much more.
We will most likely be doing some
children’s ministry, clean up or rebuilding work.
We shall see what God has planned for us in Jacmel.
Pastor Bill at Crossroads has mentioned how dark of a place Haiti is spiritually. Over half of the people still practice voodoo. There is a lot of Satanic and demonic activity that runs rampant in this nation. We for sure, 100% need to go into this trip prayed up and with our spiritual armor on. God is bigger than the evil one, but spiritual warfare is a reality we will be encountering.
Prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
We leave Friday July 30, 2010 sometime in the morning.
We will head to Dallas and have a layover and then to Miami.
From Miami the next day we will go to Port-au-Prince.
From there we will fly to Jacmel.
Please keep us in your prayers.
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Follow You]
Well more about Haiti]
(I could possibly write a book about Follow You.)
*******
“All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I´ll... Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world”
I will be going to Jacmel, Haiti in about a week.
I will be going with 9 other college age kids.
We will be working with Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative.
http://www.calvarychapelhaitiinitiative.org/
I am not exactly sure what I will be doing.
I will tell you in two weeks.
Here is an idea of what we will be doing:
Opportunities will include evangelism, children's VBS-style ministry, medical, social work, clean up, rebuilding homes and orphanages, and much more.
We will most likely be doing some
children’s ministry, clean up or rebuilding work.
We shall see what God has planned for us in Jacmel.
Pastor Bill at Crossroads has mentioned how dark of a place Haiti is spiritually. Over half of the people still practice voodoo. There is a lot of Satanic and demonic activity that runs rampant in this nation. We for sure, 100% need to go into this trip prayed up and with our spiritual armor on. God is bigger than the evil one, but spiritual warfare is a reality we will be encountering.
Prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
We leave Friday July 30, 2010 sometime in the morning.
We will head to Dallas and have a layover and then to Miami.
From Miami the next day we will go to Port-au-Prince.
From there we will fly to Jacmel.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Pieces of a Real Heart
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Lead Me.
*******
Friends have gotten married
and have gotten engaged
and have gotten into a relationship.
It has been a wedding summer
[although I didn’t go to any of the weddings]
And I figure this is only the beginning.
I have this theory about dating.
[More like this thought to keep me from dating or an excuse to some of why I am not dating.]
I don't date guys who aren't friends. [I don't know who they are.]
I don't date friends. [It will muddle up a good friendship.]
Conclusion: I don't date.
[For now at least. It’s great, I can do whatever I want. Hmm, maybe I am selfish.
I pray that I am not. I am following what I believe Christ desires of my life.
And with that, I am not always sure what his desires are; I hope that my desires are His.]
I read this book called "How to ruin your dating life"
It was about how to avoid certain mistakes.
It even talked about Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
I’ve read that book as well.
So far these past six months that theory I have has worked in this dating culture.
As well as this thought:
In the end what matters?
God.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
When we are in heaven we will be brothers and sisters in Christ.
So ultimately, these friendships are what matters.
Friendships with Christ in the center.
All of us will be the bride and Christ will be the bridegroom.
“When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful”
After a wedding there is a marriage.
A lifetime
This marriage is to be a picture of how Christ is to the church.
I do not see this picture very often in this world.
I desire this picture.
I am letting God orchestrate my love story.
I am learning to love God with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men”
Ephesians 6:7
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Lead Me.
*******
Friends have gotten married
and have gotten engaged
and have gotten into a relationship.
It has been a wedding summer
[although I didn’t go to any of the weddings]
And I figure this is only the beginning.
I have this theory about dating.
[More like this thought to keep me from dating or an excuse to some of why I am not dating.]
I don't date guys who aren't friends. [I don't know who they are.]
I don't date friends. [It will muddle up a good friendship.]
Conclusion: I don't date.
[For now at least. It’s great, I can do whatever I want. Hmm, maybe I am selfish.
I pray that I am not. I am following what I believe Christ desires of my life.
And with that, I am not always sure what his desires are; I hope that my desires are His.]
I read this book called "How to ruin your dating life"
It was about how to avoid certain mistakes.
It even talked about Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
I’ve read that book as well.
So far these past six months that theory I have has worked in this dating culture.
As well as this thought:
In the end what matters?
God.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
When we are in heaven we will be brothers and sisters in Christ.
So ultimately, these friendships are what matters.
Friendships with Christ in the center.
All of us will be the bride and Christ will be the bridegroom.
“When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful”
After a wedding there is a marriage.
A lifetime
This marriage is to be a picture of how Christ is to the church.
I do not see this picture very often in this world.
I desire this picture.
I am letting God orchestrate my love story.
I am learning to love God with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men”
Ephesians 6:7
I'd rather forget and not slow down.
It is this life in this world.
It is not easy.
I know this feeling.
This feeling of failure and wanting to rewind and change things.
But then I remember a few things and it helps ...
One is that song where it goes,
"Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly"
And another...
"I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way… That He loves us"
I haven't blogged as much as I had originally planned.
I figured that since my major places me in front of a computer all year long
I don't need to be in front of one for much of this summer.
I have been busy with work; It as been fun though.
I have been able to hang out with friends periodically
between work, youth group, camps and sleep.
Parents out of town in different places is new.
My father looking for jobs in places life Africa.
I wonder where God is leading my father.
Holidays.
Parties.
Weddings.
Engagements.
Mission trips.
"I see my life sometime and I ask why..."
Walking on the stars.
Its a song thats playing right now, I like it.
This blog is like taking 3 hours to write...
Don't worry, I am doing several other things while I add to this.
I find that I have too many ideas in this one post...
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sweet Tea Tyree
I was unwilling to come near this because I didn't like the design and didn't feel like learning what the code was saying because that is what I will be doing all year long, at least during fall semester.
This is a place where I will write down memories. Many joyful ones along with trials.
Joy does not come without hardships on this earth.
Sweet Tea Tyree.
About a year ago, it was the fourth of July at Lake Retreat.
The day before, we just got done with high school camp and the summer staff was hanging out at camp. We decided to go into town which was only about a 20ish minute drive. My lovely amazing friend Tyree and I began talking and somehow found a similar joy - Sweet Tea.
We decided that we wanted to get some. We went to the Covington Wal - Mart . . . no sweet tea.
Sad faces.
We went to Safeway on our way back to camp, and once again no sweet tea.
Back at camp sweet tea - less, we chilled at the lake and I believe that was when like a bunch of us were in Lungren watching The Office until like 1:30 or something. Maybe that was a different day. Nonetheless we were at camp without sweet tea.
Fourth of July.
Lake Retreat has a party on the lake and people come and get food and enjoy the day.
Some people may stay the night, some will go home. Stephen and Eric, the camp year round works even set off fireworks from the floating dock in the lake.
I ask my father if he would like to come up since I am there and my mother is in Japan.
He says he will [ he likes driving...he is driving across the country next week!]
He asks if I would like him to bring me anything. I just said Arizona Sweet Tea.
Later on the fourth my father comes and he tells me this story of how he went to like seven stores to find this tea for me. It was so brilliant. My father is amazing. [He is even despite the tea] He found it in like an AM.PM and a 7.11.
I had my amazing friend Tyree meet my father and thank him for the sweet tea. It was so great.
And I had my father at camp! I had 2 free meal tickets, one for lunch and one for dinner and I didn't eat lunch so my father was able to get a meal without having to pay for it.
We ate and later watched the fireworks. Then my father went home that night.
Yea, he likes driving. My dad brought about 15 things of Sweet Tea and other Arizona flavored drinks. It lasted well through the next two camps.
And on a random note, I had and kind of sill have this obsession with butterscotch pudding.
At camp I got that at Wal -Mart and I had orange Jamba juice spoons with me to eat them.
These days I just have metal spoons in my purse.
My mother calls me the spoon thief.
I LOVE YOU TYREE! =]
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Summer Sunshine
Despite the fact that when I really felt the sun I was in Eastern Oregon.
I have not blogged as much as I planned.
I think I figured that since working in front of computers is my major, I have kind of been anti-computer except for when I can't sleep.
I have been working with the City Parks and Recreation as a lifeguard.
It has been interesting. I have been audited and I passed.
It is when they throw the dummy baby [named Annie or Timmy] into the water and I have to rescue it. The last time I was audited, it was strange because that morning I totally thought I was going to get audited that morning... and low and behold, I was very well audited.
I worked some grad parties, so shifts like from 11pm to 3am. Ridiculous.
And I am not going to go much more into those...
But except one with events that surround the grad party that just seem so [I don't know a word]
So VCHS my Alma Matter has graduation.
I know pretty much everyone who is graduating.
I am excited for them. More than I was when I was graduating.
One of my friends, Daniel came because he knew Katey.
It was fun because I didn't have to sit 'alone.'
I wouldn't of sit alone really, I know people but I don't really know them...catch my drift?
Well I was happy to share my joy with Daniel and others I know that didn't go to VC to experience some of God's amazing power and grace at that school while celebrating Katey's graduation and several other friends.
After VC's grad, I had time to kill before I worked a grad party.
Daniel happened to be working a grad party as well but at a pool down the road.
Times a wasted or well spent and I wasn't run over by a car and I go to Katey's to kill time.r
I get some awesome honey mustard on my Winco bought sandwich thanks to Justin.
Grad party is pretty decent. A grad brought us a whole pizza.
Kids came and had fun. At one point no one was in the pool.
After the party I begin to head home.
I am on forth plain and Ft Vancouver Rd.
I thought about heading to Marshall to see Daniel or help with maintenance..
or something. Something was telling me to go to Marshall...but I didn't think I should.
So I head on to the free way and the 1-5 Bridge is up.
There is no traffic, but I get off onto Mill Plain anyways cus thats easier to get to 14 when the bridge is up when other cars are on the free way.
I am presented with the opportunity to go to Marshall again.
I go. I get into Marshall and into the pool and just chill.
When the boys come out of the bathroom from cleaning it, I'm just there on the deck.
They are like "What are you doing here??" I just tell them not to ask and that I am just there...
and that I didn't really know why [which I find later that I believe that God was leading me to go there for specific reasons]. Daniel is there and seems tired. Obviously its like 4 am..
I had the brilliant idea to go visit David at Homewood Suits where he works and where I use to live like 7 years ago. So we go!
It was pretty sweet. I had some energy or something. Daniel asked how I had energy [ I was skipping around] and I said I really don't. I think thats what I do when I am exhausted.
We go in and see David! It was brilliant. Daniel stayed for like 20 minutes and then left. We had good conversations. I stayed about another hour just talking with David about the bible and my mom [ who is in Japan until September] and just many things about life.
I stayed until 5am. All this is a brilliant memory I love. And the next day [or the same day] I wake up at 9 and go to church to work with second Saturday and we got to go to a camp - Royal Ridges. I helped with framing as much as I could. I had never done that before.
At 430 am I had this amazing creation thanks to David and Homewood Suites:
Memories are a brilliant thing.
I know Christ was leading and working that evening and morning.
I didn't share everything, but a good part of it and I know that where I was that morning was exactly where I was suppose to be.
I hope you can share in the joy that I find in this memory.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friendship is a grand thing. I love the joy that friends can bring. Sweet moments of joy. Growing up with missionaries and military kids, I have grown up with friends leaving. I have come to understand that there are seasons of friendship. Last summer I was at Lake Retreat. I met some amazing people I love, had some fun times and made some great memories. I treasure those friendships greatly. I encountered moments of overwhelming joy where Vancouver Christian friendships collided with Lake Retreat. That collision reminded me of the grand family atmosphere I had while in high school that I lost once going to WSUV. I had some friends but WSUV was not the same at all. This friendship, this family . . . a group of friends who love Jesus and love each other. After being back in school last fall I found a great group of friends. We have this bible study every week and hang out elsewhere every once in a while. They bring joy to my heart. Several of them came to my house last Friday for my birthday and made it an excellent time. I also got a cake shaped like a frog. =]
These friendships are a blessing.
I am very grateful. ♥Sunday, May 23, 2010
God is my remedy.
My heart and flesh fails.
God is my strength and my portion forever.
So long self.
Constant surrender to God.
I must die in order to live.
God is my remedy.
I am waiting patiently and abiding in Christ.
Isaiah 40 and John 15
Be joyful in hope.
Be patient in affliction.
Be faithful in prayer.
Romans 12
I am learning.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Music in my head
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
Isaiah 40:28-31
The end is near . . .
A revealing feeling when [before]finals week is over.
[I want to be] Dead week is done!
Most of my classes don't have finals, so it has been pretty much finals week for me.
I have two finals which I should ace.
Those classes were my easier classes.
I hope to pass all my classes. I'm just gonna ignore my GPA this semester.
While driving home this past week and while I've worked on the blog for Mexico,
I have decided to create a blog for this summer.
I probably could just make a website . . . I learned to do that this summer.
www.dtc-wsuv.org/cnelson
For now I am going to stick with this until the coding doesn't do what I'd like.
The end is near, and school is just about over for the summer.
Now for working this summer; hopefully 40 hours a week.
This summer I will be in town and not at Lake Retreat Camp.
I had hoped to go be a counselor at camp, but God has different plans.
I certainly know that my plans are so not God's plans.
God's plans are perfect.
I am excited and nervous and some other adjectives for what God has planned.
The source [the picture] of the name of this blog came from a magazine.
A heart full of dreams and a pocket full of rocks.
It is pretty accurate.
I do collect rocks; rocks are found in my pockets or purse often.
[I want to be] Dead week is done!
Most of my classes don't have finals, so it has been pretty much finals week for me.
I have two finals which I should ace.
Those classes were my easier classes.
I hope to pass all my classes. I'm just gonna ignore my GPA this semester.
While driving home this past week and while I've worked on the blog for Mexico,
I have decided to create a blog for this summer.
I probably could just make a website . . . I learned to do that this summer.
www.dtc-wsuv.org/cnelson
For now I am going to stick with this until the coding doesn't do what I'd like.
The end is near, and school is just about over for the summer.
Now for working this summer; hopefully 40 hours a week.
This summer I will be in town and not at Lake Retreat Camp.
I had hoped to go be a counselor at camp, but God has different plans.
I certainly know that my plans are so not God's plans.
God's plans are perfect.
I am excited and nervous and some other adjectives for what God has planned.
The source [the picture] of the name of this blog came from a magazine.
A heart full of dreams and a pocket full of rocks.
It is pretty accurate.
I do collect rocks; rocks are found in my pockets or purse often.
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