Someone please save us, us college kids
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I questioned why I did
. . .
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree
What I find humorous is that my major simply stated is pretty much arts and crafts.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The beginning is near . . .
I began this blog when school was about out and summer was starting.
Now school will begin again tomorrow.
I spent the last moments of summer in Long Beach at Dunes bible camp
with some great college age kids.
I love the beach. The waves and the sand and the sun.
God makes beautiful things.
I even see now as I come home and talking with a friend.
Somehow we got on the subject of poetry.
I believe it was due to this image.
Its an interesting image; however, when I read the first line, I thought again.
When faced with two choices... I pray.
He asked if I was into poetry and I began to speak of high school where most of my English courses consisted of some poetry.
He asked if one stuck with me and if I would share it with him.
I wanted to share it with him about a week ago but I didn't.
God gave me this opportunity to share it with him now.
This is the poem, along with an old post from Facebook which I am sure still prevalent in my life.
His Plan for Me
By Martha Snell Nicholson
When I stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ
And He shows me His plan for me,
The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had He had His way; and I see
How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there
And I would not yield my will,
Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief though He loves me still?
He would have me rich, and I stand here poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I cannot retrace.
Then my desolate heart will well nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed;
I shall cover my face with my empty hands;
I shall bow my uncrowned head.
Lord of the years that are left to me,
I give them to Thy hand;
Take me and break me, mold me to
The pattern Thou hast planned.
This is a poem I had in my head since I memorized it freshman year of high school.
I hope that when I am before him, he will be able to show me my life and how he had his way.
Theres just something that I am realizing once again
of our culture, of our world. We've learned to be in the world and not of the world.
Yet within this culture it isn't easy to do.
There is something about trials.
Someone said that if you're not in one, get ready its coming.
Trials help us get our focus back and grow in God more.
School isn't easy and seems pointless.
I need to just do it though.
I am trying not to complain about things anymore.
I heard these good few verses.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
***
School tomorrow
And so it begins . . .
Now school will begin again tomorrow.
I spent the last moments of summer in Long Beach at Dunes bible camp
with some great college age kids.
I love the beach. The waves and the sand and the sun.
God makes beautiful things.
I even see now as I come home and talking with a friend.
Somehow we got on the subject of poetry.
I believe it was due to this image.
Its an interesting image; however, when I read the first line, I thought again.
When faced with two choices... I pray.
He asked if I was into poetry and I began to speak of high school where most of my English courses consisted of some poetry.
He asked if one stuck with me and if I would share it with him.
I wanted to share it with him about a week ago but I didn't.
God gave me this opportunity to share it with him now.
This is the poem, along with an old post from Facebook which I am sure still prevalent in my life.
His Plan for Me
By Martha Snell Nicholson
When I stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ
And He shows me His plan for me,
The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had He had His way; and I see
How I blocked Him here, and I checked Him there
And I would not yield my will,
Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief though He loves me still?
He would have me rich, and I stand here poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I cannot retrace.
Then my desolate heart will well nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed;
I shall cover my face with my empty hands;
I shall bow my uncrowned head.
Lord of the years that are left to me,
I give them to Thy hand;
Take me and break me, mold me to
The pattern Thou hast planned.
This is a poem I had in my head since I memorized it freshman year of high school.
I hope that when I am before him, he will be able to show me my life and how he had his way.
Theres just something that I am realizing once again
of our culture, of our world. We've learned to be in the world and not of the world.
Yet within this culture it isn't easy to do.
There is something about trials.
Someone said that if you're not in one, get ready its coming.
Trials help us get our focus back and grow in God more.
School isn't easy and seems pointless.
I need to just do it though.
I am trying not to complain about things anymore.
I heard these good few verses.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
***
School tomorrow
And so it begins . . .
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Healing Begins.
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Healing Begins]
[video to listen, not really to watch.]
Things in this world have broken my heart.
The way a parent was treating their child.
Family issues.
Earthquakes in Haiti. Chile. Other places.
Death.
Stories, reality, in the newspaper headlines and on the TV news.
Old friendships that have dissolved yet still plaguing my heart.
Current friendships facing some issues.
I may take things too personally.
The picture I had in my mind is that my heart was glass and many things of this world were slowly creating cracks in my heart. Then one day something just shattered my heart. It has been a build up of many things.
Healing begins once prayer starts.
That is what I learned.
Amidst these feelings in my heart it began with this instance:
My mind was racing that day at school and was stressed about projects.
I got to my car before going to work with some kiddos at Kids First.
I just fell into the drivers seat and just stopped.
I stopped and prayed.
I prayed that I would be able to take all these thoughts captive to Jesus.
That he would guide me though and that I can think about whatever
is noble, pure, true, and etc. This verse:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phil 4:8
I prayed.
Shortly, at the end of my prayer I thought of a song where is says,
"..feels like chaos but some how there is peace."
I know that peace I have is straight from Jesus and none other.
I turned my car on and the radio and headed to work.
As I began to listen to the song on the radio, this is what I heard:
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
And it's hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly.
That song that I thought about was playing at that moment.
And beyond there is peace...it is something heavenly.
That God up to something bigger than me…
Larger than life…something heavenly
Something heavenly.
Chaos but there is peace.
My Jesus moment.
That moment came by prayer. By letting go and letting God.
This was before the shattering of my heart.
That may have been the same week but I am not sure.
After that heart break, I knew that I needed to keep praying.
I also had the feeling in my heart to have another pray for me.
At church a Sunday morning I felt that I should go up to one of the prayer people and talk with them, but I didn't
However, that evening I did.
I went and told a girl, who was not much older than me, that I would like prayer.
Prayer for school, work, family, health,.. nothing too specific.
General life stress.
She began to pray.
She began to pray specifically for healing. Her hand was on my shoulder and she moved it over my heart as she prayed. She prayed for healing of my heart. That God would heal my heart and take away any pain that has been there.
I did not tell her that my heart has been breaking.
After she prayed, the pain in my heart had subsided.
These two instances show that prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
Healing began.
And has continued.
I have seen and felt the reality of prayer and healing in my life.
God is doing something heavenly.
[I may add more later]
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Haiti
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Follow You]
Well more about Haiti]
(I could possibly write a book about Follow You.)
*******
“All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I´ll... Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world”
I will be going to Jacmel, Haiti in about a week.
I will be going with 9 other college age kids.
We will be working with Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative.
http://www.calvarychapelhaitiinitiative.org/
I am not exactly sure what I will be doing.
I will tell you in two weeks.
Here is an idea of what we will be doing:
Opportunities will include evangelism, children's VBS-style ministry, medical, social work, clean up, rebuilding homes and orphanages, and much more.
We will most likely be doing some
children’s ministry, clean up or rebuilding work.
We shall see what God has planned for us in Jacmel.
Pastor Bill at Crossroads has mentioned how dark of a place Haiti is spiritually. Over half of the people still practice voodoo. There is a lot of Satanic and demonic activity that runs rampant in this nation. We for sure, 100% need to go into this trip prayed up and with our spiritual armor on. God is bigger than the evil one, but spiritual warfare is a reality we will be encountering.
Prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
We leave Friday July 30, 2010 sometime in the morning.
We will head to Dallas and have a layover and then to Miami.
From Miami the next day we will go to Port-au-Prince.
From there we will fly to Jacmel.
Please keep us in your prayers.
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Follow You]
Well more about Haiti]
(I could possibly write a book about Follow You.)
*******
“All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I´ll... Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world”
I will be going to Jacmel, Haiti in about a week.
I will be going with 9 other college age kids.
We will be working with Calvary Chapel Haiti Initiative.
http://www.calvarychapelhaitiinitiative.org/
I am not exactly sure what I will be doing.
I will tell you in two weeks.
Here is an idea of what we will be doing:
Opportunities will include evangelism, children's VBS-style ministry, medical, social work, clean up, rebuilding homes and orphanages, and much more.
We will most likely be doing some
children’s ministry, clean up or rebuilding work.
We shall see what God has planned for us in Jacmel.
Pastor Bill at Crossroads has mentioned how dark of a place Haiti is spiritually. Over half of the people still practice voodoo. There is a lot of Satanic and demonic activity that runs rampant in this nation. We for sure, 100% need to go into this trip prayed up and with our spiritual armor on. God is bigger than the evil one, but spiritual warfare is a reality we will be encountering.
Prayer is powerful and God is so much more powerful.
We leave Friday July 30, 2010 sometime in the morning.
We will head to Dallas and have a layover and then to Miami.
From Miami the next day we will go to Port-au-Prince.
From there we will fly to Jacmel.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Pieces of a Real Heart
[to bring a foundation to my thought process…
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Lead Me.
*******
Friends have gotten married
and have gotten engaged
and have gotten into a relationship.
It has been a wedding summer
[although I didn’t go to any of the weddings]
And I figure this is only the beginning.
I have this theory about dating.
[More like this thought to keep me from dating or an excuse to some of why I am not dating.]
I don't date guys who aren't friends. [I don't know who they are.]
I don't date friends. [It will muddle up a good friendship.]
Conclusion: I don't date.
[For now at least. It’s great, I can do whatever I want. Hmm, maybe I am selfish.
I pray that I am not. I am following what I believe Christ desires of my life.
And with that, I am not always sure what his desires are; I hope that my desires are His.]
I read this book called "How to ruin your dating life"
It was about how to avoid certain mistakes.
It even talked about Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
I’ve read that book as well.
So far these past six months that theory I have has worked in this dating culture.
As well as this thought:
In the end what matters?
God.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
When we are in heaven we will be brothers and sisters in Christ.
So ultimately, these friendships are what matters.
Friendships with Christ in the center.
All of us will be the bride and Christ will be the bridegroom.
“When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful”
After a wedding there is a marriage.
A lifetime
This marriage is to be a picture of how Christ is to the church.
I do not see this picture very often in this world.
I desire this picture.
I am letting God orchestrate my love story.
I am learning to love God with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men”
Ephesians 6:7
I have been hearing a few songs over and over again.
One being Follow You by Leeland and Brandon Heath
Another being Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
And another being Lead Me by Sanctus real.
This blog or note is about Lead Me.
*******
Friends have gotten married
and have gotten engaged
and have gotten into a relationship.
It has been a wedding summer
[although I didn’t go to any of the weddings]
And I figure this is only the beginning.
I have this theory about dating.
[More like this thought to keep me from dating or an excuse to some of why I am not dating.]
I don't date guys who aren't friends. [I don't know who they are.]
I don't date friends. [It will muddle up a good friendship.]
Conclusion: I don't date.
[For now at least. It’s great, I can do whatever I want. Hmm, maybe I am selfish.
I pray that I am not. I am following what I believe Christ desires of my life.
And with that, I am not always sure what his desires are; I hope that my desires are His.]
I read this book called "How to ruin your dating life"
It was about how to avoid certain mistakes.
It even talked about Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
I’ve read that book as well.
So far these past six months that theory I have has worked in this dating culture.
As well as this thought:
In the end what matters?
God.
God matters and what matters to God matters.
When we are in heaven we will be brothers and sisters in Christ.
So ultimately, these friendships are what matters.
Friendships with Christ in the center.
All of us will be the bride and Christ will be the bridegroom.
“When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful”
After a wedding there is a marriage.
A lifetime
This marriage is to be a picture of how Christ is to the church.
I do not see this picture very often in this world.
I desire this picture.
I am letting God orchestrate my love story.
I am learning to love God with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men”
Ephesians 6:7
I'd rather forget and not slow down.
It is this life in this world.
It is not easy.
I know this feeling.
This feeling of failure and wanting to rewind and change things.
But then I remember a few things and it helps ...
One is that song where it goes,
"Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly"
And another...
"I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way… That He loves us"
I haven't blogged as much as I had originally planned.
I figured that since my major places me in front of a computer all year long
I don't need to be in front of one for much of this summer.
I have been busy with work; It as been fun though.
I have been able to hang out with friends periodically
between work, youth group, camps and sleep.
Parents out of town in different places is new.
My father looking for jobs in places life Africa.
I wonder where God is leading my father.
Holidays.
Parties.
Weddings.
Engagements.
Mission trips.
"I see my life sometime and I ask why..."
Walking on the stars.
Its a song thats playing right now, I like it.
This blog is like taking 3 hours to write...
Don't worry, I am doing several other things while I add to this.
I find that I have too many ideas in this one post...
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sweet Tea Tyree
I was unwilling to come near this because I didn't like the design and didn't feel like learning what the code was saying because that is what I will be doing all year long, at least during fall semester.
This is a place where I will write down memories. Many joyful ones along with trials.
Joy does not come without hardships on this earth.
Sweet Tea Tyree.
About a year ago, it was the fourth of July at Lake Retreat.
The day before, we just got done with high school camp and the summer staff was hanging out at camp. We decided to go into town which was only about a 20ish minute drive. My lovely amazing friend Tyree and I began talking and somehow found a similar joy - Sweet Tea.
We decided that we wanted to get some. We went to the Covington Wal - Mart . . . no sweet tea.
Sad faces.
We went to Safeway on our way back to camp, and once again no sweet tea.
Back at camp sweet tea - less, we chilled at the lake and I believe that was when like a bunch of us were in Lungren watching The Office until like 1:30 or something. Maybe that was a different day. Nonetheless we were at camp without sweet tea.
Fourth of July.
Lake Retreat has a party on the lake and people come and get food and enjoy the day.
Some people may stay the night, some will go home. Stephen and Eric, the camp year round works even set off fireworks from the floating dock in the lake.
I ask my father if he would like to come up since I am there and my mother is in Japan.
He says he will [ he likes driving...he is driving across the country next week!]
He asks if I would like him to bring me anything. I just said Arizona Sweet Tea.
Later on the fourth my father comes and he tells me this story of how he went to like seven stores to find this tea for me. It was so brilliant. My father is amazing. [He is even despite the tea] He found it in like an AM.PM and a 7.11.
I had my amazing friend Tyree meet my father and thank him for the sweet tea. It was so great.
And I had my father at camp! I had 2 free meal tickets, one for lunch and one for dinner and I didn't eat lunch so my father was able to get a meal without having to pay for it.
We ate and later watched the fireworks. Then my father went home that night.
Yea, he likes driving. My dad brought about 15 things of Sweet Tea and other Arizona flavored drinks. It lasted well through the next two camps.
And on a random note, I had and kind of sill have this obsession with butterscotch pudding.
At camp I got that at Wal -Mart and I had orange Jamba juice spoons with me to eat them.
These days I just have metal spoons in my purse.
My mother calls me the spoon thief.
I LOVE YOU TYREE! =]
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